Quotable Bean

Me: "Hey, you've got a little crust right there."
Bean: "And you've got eyes right ... there."

Spotting my travel mug:
"Are you drinkin' coffee and smokin' big cigars?"
This is why, when your toddler asks for a train song, you should spend 30 seconds coming up with an appropriate one, rather than just playing the first one that comes to mind.

To me, carrying a pile of laundry:
"It's a sea anemone!"
"A sea anemone? What does that have to do with anything?"
"It has to do with a sea anemone..."

Recapping yet another viewing of the deep-sea episode of Blue Planet:
"Did you watch the food chain? And the PRESSURE?!?"


"Baby's getting bathtized... with a WATER CANON!"

On a later attempt:
Me: "You can't baptize with a water cannon!"
DH: "Well, technically ..."
"Hush!"

Me: "I don't know what the temperature is."
Bean (exasperated): "It is hot or cold!"

"I'm a spoom whale, and I'm diving down a thousand MEET-ahs."
What happens when you learn all your marine biology from David Attenborough. If you try to say it with the "R"s, you are WRONG.

Me: "X is for xylophone."
Bean: "Looks like a papano."
"What?"
"Like a papano."
"Like a piano?"
"Yeah, like a peepano."

Bonus photo: Whale vs. Shark vs. Anglerfish:

(not to scale)