Quotable Bean: Crappy Phone Pics Edition

Reading Little Bear:

Me: "Which story do you want?"
Bean: "Dis one."
"That just says. 'contents'"
"Oh yeah yeah yeah. Contents!"
"That's not a story."
"READ CONTENTS!"

Me: "I would drive to a castle—"
Bean: "Oh! It's a church!"
"No, it's a castle."
"Um, it is a church. See the door?"

Anglerfish is in the impound lot (on top of the bookcase) for flinging himself out of Bean's hands one too many times:
"Rocket ship will get the Anglerfish! [returning a minute later] Umm.... rocket needs a ladder."

To the cardinal on the TJ's bag:
"That is a red chicken. He is singing 'Cheeseburger in Paradise'!"

"No! Uncle Nick will not steer! He will drive into the light!"
Apparently, nobody but Mama is allowed to drive Mama's car.

Getting ready to leave the grandparents:
Me: "Are you ready to go back and see Dada tomorrow?"
Bean: "Um, Dada does not have an axe."
NB: Dada wishes it to be known that he totally does have an axe. Just not a wood pile.

Costco checkout lady: "Is that your baby?"
Bean (steering the conversation towards topics of general interest): "That is a pizza!"
CCL: "Did he just call the baby 'pizza'?"

Walking out of our favorite brunch place this Sunday, we pass a girl about Bean's age coming in.
Girl: "Pancakes? Pancakes?"
Linus (throws his arms in the air): "Pancakes!!"
Yes, you have reached the promised land.