Thursday, January 29, 2015

Why that sweater has taken you two years to finish

8:00 p.m.: Finish your row. It's time to switch colors, but your thread cutters have mysteriously disappeared.  Get up to scrounge around for some scissors.
8:03: Walk past the kitchen. Those beans you boiled are probably cool enough to move along to the freezer.
8:15: If you don't do diaper laundry, you won't have anything to put the baby in in the morning. Go upstairs and get that pail.
8:16: Wonder if the recent diaper rash is due to the bar of Ivory you used in the latest batch of detergent. Go looking for something (anything) that isn't that or Woolite. Come up with an ancient box of detergent (like, possibly-left-by-the-previous-owners old), manage to chisel off enough for a load.
8:22: Husband offers to do the dishes from the beans, but you're pretty sure you can't deal with looking at even one more toy today, so you ask him to take care of that situation while you do dishes
8:30: No one's wiped the stove in recent history. Really cleaning it would kill your hands in this dry weather, but a quick swipe would be a good idea.
8:33: Step back. Well, crap. The kitchen literally looks bigger because the stove is so much cleaner. Probably should just bite the bullet and do the job right.
8:41: Maybe if you run upstairs and get lotion on your hands immediately, your skin won't turn into sandpaper...
8:43: Maybe not.
8:47: It's getting late; clear various projects off the table in order to have a place to pray.
8:50: Compline
9:00: Ignore dessert requests; time for jammies and toothbrushing.
9:10: Tuck in Thing One. Dad's still getting over the flu and has taken over kid's room for quarantine purposes, so kiddo is sleeping in his pup tent by the Christmas tree. This means everyone is banished to the upstairs rooms until he's out.
9:13: Thing Two is still going strong. Attempt to contain him in your bedroom, which really has no place to play.
9:20: Your sister calls to chat.
9:21: Now Thing Two is totally ready for bed this instant.
9:23: Change him one-and-a-half-handed while carrying on your phone conversation.
9:30: Make a valiant attempt to bounce and otherwise distract Thing Two while you carry on your conversation.
9:41: Resign yourself to saying goodbye and taking care of the bedtime situation.
10:05: Both kids asleep. Check out something online your sister had mentioned.
10:14: Chat with husband for a few before he checks out.
10:23: Make yourself a cup of tea. You have to babysit the kettle, so it doesn't start screaming with a kid asleep right next to it.
10:31: Bring your tea up to the computer. Fetch your project, too, and finally settle in with a good Netflix show to get some quality knitting time.
10:32 p.m.: Pick up your needles and glance at the chart. Realize you still need to change colors, and your scissors are all downstairs.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

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